See this in your mind and hold it there, because this is the future:
You’re reclining in a dentist’s chair. You’re wearing one of those ridiculous bibs. The radio softly plays Steve Miller in the lobby. The pretty brunette dental hygienist pats your shoulder and walks out as the dentist, a tiny monkey, climbs up your chest, puts his tiny fingers into your mouth and uses a needle sharp fingernail to flip out a bit of gunk the hygienist missed between two of your molars. The monkey puts the mask on you and as he readies a syringe, the gas kicks in and you find yourself thinking “I wonder how often he cleans his kitty’s litter box?”
Remember, it all starts with a monkey on a bike.
you know, that you are crazy, right?
The best thing is that this came from an email thread with my bandmates. It went on to read…
“Skritch skritch skritch on your molars with his tiny tiny fingernails then a careful consideration of the plaque under those nails and finally sucking those tiny fingers clean before putting them back in your mouth to scrape away more plaque.”
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that monkeys are better suited to hygienist work than full-blown dentistry. There’s no way they’d have the patience to sit through 8 years of med school.